Kibalicious!
by juliagulia1017
Summary: Kiba comes up with a catch phrase that he wants all of Konoha to use. Predictably, things don't go as planned. Sillyfic. Loaded with corny goodness and a heavy sprinkling of cheese.
1. In Which Kiba Discovers a Catch Phrase

_It was pointed out to me (in the early development of this fic) that Kiba frequently said,_ "_Yahoo!_";_ I just thought the one I created was a tad bit sillier. I also place blame on Destiny's Child and one Black Eyed Pea for this insanity._

**_All_**_ of Kishimoto's characters will be lightly-bashed and OOC. _

* * *

"Kibalicious!" 

It was an average day outside the fair village of Konoha. Amidst a backdrop of lush, green grass and tall conifers, Team 8 was returning from a C-class mission and could now see the familiar walls of their homeland from a distance.

The trek back had been relatively tranquil, save for the sounds of nature, the crunch of gravel under their shoes, Kiba's occasional observations, Akamaru's barks (from inside Kiba's jacket), and Hinata's modest outputs. Shino was Shino, which meant that that he was being taciturn as usual.

The quartet continued padding along the dirt path until Kiba started to mumble random atrocities to himself, or to Akamaru, no one was quite sure, until the Inuzuka's complaints grew louder and louder.

"**GUWAAAAH!**" he screamed, pulling at his hair while crying anime tears, while Akamaru hid himself from plain view. "**I WANT ONE, TOO!**"

Hinata cowered behind Shino, terrified by Kiba's outburst. "U-Um, want what, Kiba-kun?"

Kiba pulled Team 8 into an emergency huddle, looking directly into their eyes. "This is bad! Like, a matter between life and death bad!"

Shino raised a brow. Hinata shrank nervously under Kiba's intense gaze.

"Guys, I need... a **catch phrase**!"

Shino and Hinata could only stare at their bewildered teammate, as crickets chirped loudly in the background (even though it was only mid-morning).

"I mean it, guys! If Naruto has '_Dattebayo_', Lee has '_YOSH!_', and Shikamaru has '_Menduksee_', why can't **_I_** have one, too?" Strangely enough, Kiba had performed some great impersonations of all three (even doing Lee's fiery eyes dead-on).

"..." Shino was at a loss for words, giving Kiba his patented "WTF" face, which looked like every other face he made because Shino was an expressionless person.

"KUSO!" Kiba cursed in disbelief. "Even BUG BOY has a catch phrase!"

**"...!"** Shino bit out indignantly, violently removing Kiba's arm from his shoulder.

"I-I don't quite understand," Hinata spoke, although hearing '_Dattebayo_' made her heart skip a beat.

"A catch phrase, Hinata! You know, like, _'You're fired_,' he started, poking the air with his hand. "Or, '_I know you are, but what am I?_'"

The formerly quiet bug nin couldn't take it anymore and was forced to break his vow of silence. "I think you're a moron."

Kiba grinned. "I know you are, but what am I? HAH! You TOTALLY walked into that one! So who's the moron _now_, Shi-MMMPPHHH?"

"S-S-_Sumimasen_, K-Kiba-kun!" Hinata had quickly assessed the situation by stuffing a wad of _onigiri_ into Kiba's mouth. She knew it was a mean thing to do, but theoretically, the less Kiba spoke, the less disgruntled Shino became.

Kiba didn't like how Hinata rudely cut him off with food, but he chewed contentedly nonetheless, savoring the tasty bite. "Hey, Hinata! This is delicious!"

Suddenly, he paused, as a light bulb went off in his head.

"Wait- it's not delicious," he froze, for dramatic effect (while Hinata berated herself for being a failure _again_- was her cooking that awful?), "-it's **_kibalicious!_**"

"..." replied the Hyuuga and Aburame in unison.

"_Kibalicious!_ It's gonna be my new gimmick! It's AWESOME!" The proud Inuzuka smiled a toothy grin in celebration of what he thought was his greatest accomplishment ever (next to teaching Akamaru how to pee and spin in the air at the same time). "And Hinata's going to help me spread it around, won't you, Hinata?"

Hinata obediently nodded her head, working the four syllables on her tongue with a slight blush on her face- Kiba had said her rice balls were _'kibalicious'_!

Shino rolled his eyes- it was too easy for Kiba to wheedle Hinata into another one of his harebrained schemes. Truthfully, if he or Kiba were to ask Hinata to jump off a cliff, she would most likely comply, not wanting to hurt either of their feelings if she said no. The already aggravated Aburame pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off the impending migraine he got from spending too much time with his feral teammate.

Was it too late to switch teams?

"Kiba. Of all the retarded-"

"Oi, Shino!" Kiba interrupted, waving a finger in his face. "Don't be jealous because MY catch phrase is so much more... _kibalicious _than yours, right, Hinata?"

Hinata was too busy trying to say, "_Kibalicious!_" without her stutter, and was therefore unaware of the little argument her friends were having. And Kiba, seeing that Hinata was in support of the new expression, ruffled her hair happily while Shino brooded behind his collar.

Maybe, just _maybe _Shino was a smidge unhappy about how catchy "_kibalicious_" was. He'd have to discuss this with his therapist in his next session.

Minutes later, the Hokage monument was within sight.

"Hey! We're finally home! Let's get out there and leak _kibalicious_ all over Konoha!"

"_K-kibalicious_!" cried Hinata, who then covered her cheeks and admonished herself for her speech impediment.

"ARF!" barked Akamaru, which, in doggy terms was loosely translated as "_kibalicious_"!

"...," groused You-Know-Who.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

_Yeah, another random story. I'm still trying to work out the kinks for all the other fics I have posted up, and it looks like I'll be doing some editing of my current works pretty darn soon._

_Thanks for reading, constructive criticisms/reviews are love. _


	2. Everything is Kiba's Fault

_Sorry for the late update... Thank you, _9-DArK-Moon-4, kawaii-Cherimu130, SnowLion no Miko, valenciadarkness, Crimson Skye, Trunksmybaby, shadow929, TragicMiko, danielie, Venting Lions, Ms. Videl Son, NarutosMego, Andrea Stein, dyingOFboredom, Blue Quartz Foxy, Kroung, AbsoluteRandomness, ravemastaj, Cupid's Bride, Kane-the-Warrior, cheh, Elsie-neechan, Kirikiri Mai, some person (and yes, you will see your idea plotted out right here), Danii the Muse, TheNewKid25, MonkeyHead, Alylovee, Ghost13, Miss0made, shoeythoughts, yeo, Sayomi Kimazaki, Hikari Midori-chan, DesertCat, sulki, and Saturn Owl_! You guys are much too lovely! _

_Again, standard disclaimers apply. Kishimoto, crack, partial borrowing of the lyrics to Fergie's song, some OOC-ness. Read at your own risk. It's unbeta'd, which is why it's so messy and all over the place._

_

* * *

_

"For the umpteenth time, SHUT UP, KIBA!" Shino yelled. There was a terrible buzzing noise being emitted from Shino's chest and Hinata knew he was going to explode at any minute. It was hard being the unofficial peacemaker of the team, especially when Shino and Kiba had two very strong, often clashing personalities and she was as timid as a **handicapped baby bunny**.

Earlier, Kiba and Akamaru had busied themselves by writing a song **_called_** _"Kibalicious"_ and performing it grated on Shino's nerves. Since Shino had found it difficult to come up with a catch phrase of his own, he had quickly worked himself into a rage, a rage that reminded her of the face Neji possessed the time he confronted her for using the last of his beloved Pantene Pro-V conditioner.

_Brief flashback:_

_"I had to use the BRANCH-HOUSE conditioner, and we all know that's a bunch of worthless CRAP! If I find **ANY **split ends, Hinata-sama," he roared, "you will find your destiny lies six feet under ground!"_

_End flashback._

She paled, inching closer and closer to Kiba.

"Aww," Kiba grinned, unfazed by the vicious glare he was receiving (if anything, he was used to it already). "Just the chorus, then!"

Kunai/makeshift microphone in hand, he began to sing. "**_Kibalicious._ I'm hot, hot. _Kibalicious._ I'm so damn hot, hot.**"

"No you're not," Shino scowled, deciding whether he should jab the weapon down Kiba's throat or commit _hara-kiri_.

Kiba gave Shino the finger and put away the sharp object, once he realized Shino's killing intent. "**_Kibalicious. _Bug Boy's jealous of what I got! I'm _Kibalicious_. **Sing it, Hinata!"

Hinata reddened, nodding her head 'no'.

"Please, Hinata-chan?" Kiba pleaded, giving her his best puppy-dog look. "And with the widdle dance? Pwease? For me? And widdle Akamaru-kun?"

Hinata fidgeted uncomfortably in her spot, darting her eyes back and forth- ANYTHING not to make eye contact with him. Gaah! Contact! How could she possibly turn him down now? She sighed in defeat.

"**T-t-t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty...**" she crooned as she slowly shimmied her rear end during every 'tasty' sung (something that Kiba had taught her, much to Shino's dismay), earning her the stares of interested fanboys standing nearby (her teammates included). Kiba, thoroughly pleased with the little show, walked off proudly. Hinata held on to her rapidly diminishing poise for as long as she could, managing to take three very uneasy steps before promptly passing out.

Shino rolled his eyes as he, amidst the jealous glares of aforementioned fanboys, carried Hinata on his back. Sure, he could feel certain soft mounds of flesh against his jacket, but he was trying his hardest not to notice. Stupid fanboys. Stupid hormones. Stupid song. Stupid deflated ego. Stupid Kiba. All roads led to Kiba being an idiot. He continued his gait, maintaining a sizeable _hearing _distance from the annoying fleabag and Akamaru.

Four blocks ahead, Kiba was getting a little too carried away as he continued his song and dance routine, which had started to meander toward movements of the NC-17 variety. The Inuzuka had already removed his coat and tank top, singing "**T, to the A, to the S-T-E-Y DAMN I'M SEXY! T, to the A, to the S-T-E-Y YEAH I'M SEXY!**" while rubbing his chest and thrusting his pelvis (much to the joy of his rabid fangirls) and was just about to remove his pants when the back of his head was smacked none-too-gently by one ticked off Inuzuka Tsume.

"KIBA! What did I tell you about public indecency? I don't want Tsunade-sama to have to call me about your exhibitionist behavior again!"

"Aww, MOM!" Kiba whined, as he was forced to put on his jacket. "You totally embarrassed me in front of all my fan-bitches!" (Said fan-bitches squealed in rapt fascination- Kiba acknowledged their presence! And they had been, like, HIDING!) "That was SOOOOOO un_kibalicious _of you!"

(In the background, high-pitched sighs of "Totally un_kibalicious_ of you, Mrs. Inuzuka!" could be heard.)

Tsume gave her son another thwack on the head for the 'bitch' comment before dragging him home by the ear. As Tsume (with son in tow) passed by Shino and the still unconscious Hinata, Kiba, knowing he'd be grounded the moment he set foot in his house, grabbed Shino's arm, nearly causing him to drop the Hyuuga heir in the process. Shino had to walk at Tsume's fast pace to keep up with Kiba's words.

"Shino," he gasped, as if he were a dead man walking (which was partially true- Tsume scolded her children the same way she scolded her dogs- smacking their rear-ends with a big rolled up newspaper and screaming out variations of "BAD BOY!" -or girl, as it was the case for Hana- and "NO!")- "I'm trusting you and Hinata-chan to get '_kibalicious' _all over Konoha! Don't let me down!"

Shino sweat dropped. As if _he'd_ take orders from** Kiba**. And if he knew Hinata, she'd be too shy to talk to others, try as she might.

Rolling his eyes yet again, he came to a halt and continued his trek back in the direction of the Hyuuga compound even angrier than before.

Damn that guy. Stupid Kiba. Stupid, stupid, _stupid _Kiba, with his freakin' cool catch phrase and throngs of female admirers, and- Shino grinned evilly as a tune came to mind. "**S to the T to the U-P-I-D Kiba's stupid, S to the T to the U-P-I-D Kiba's stupid…**" he sang.

Sure it was childish. Sure, people were staring at him, mentally adding to their lists of reasons why the Aburame were so strange. Did he harbor a care? Not really.

After dropping Hinata off at home, he remembered to stop by Tsunade's office to inform her of their successful mission.

Following their debriefing, the busty blonde finally spoke. "Wonderful, Shino. But before you leave, I have a very important assignment that I need for you to complete. I would send Kiba, but you're clearly the more responsible candidate for this job."

Shino saw no reason to disagree with the Hokage on _that _observation.

"I need you to go to Sunagakure to retrieve a very important item from the Kazekage. You'll leave tomorrow at sunrise."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

With those final words, Shino was dismissed to leave.

Tomorrow's excursion to Suna would later show the young Aburame just how rewarding sharing the word _kibalicious _could be.

* * *

_I'm glad the holidays are over. I think my crack muse is finally back! _

_Reviews, comments, constructive criticism, lay them on me if you can. Thanks for reading!_


	3. Lost In Translation

_Here's Chapter 3... I have to be quite honest by saying I don't think it's as funny as I'd have liked it to have been, but everyone is their own biggest critic (though I know I'm right this time). Hopefully I'll do better in the next installment._

_Big thanks to_ Milk Marshmallow, Lonniet84, Allie, Hinagiku Harumi, Kroung, clockwork starlight, Andrea Stein, TheNewKid25, CheerfullyPessimistic, Miss0made, shoeythoughts, SnowLion no Miko, shadow929, Mini-Chobi, ravemastaj, 9-DArK-Moon-4, Elsie-neechan, MystiKoorime, Ladii-Chocolate, danelie, lallyzippo, Winter Weatherman, Kitty Harasser, shnickers, and H.L.F.K.S.K.T Kaoru _for your input and encouragement! It really means a lot! _

_And happy birthday, Shino!!_

* * *

Hinata had been staked outside the Ichiraku for the last hour behind a nearby lamp post across the street, debating on whether or not she should go over and tell Naruto (who was on his eighteenth bowl of ramen) about Kiba's new phrase. 

With Kiba in the doghouse (literally) for making a mockery of the Inuzuka name in public, Hinata realized that it was up to her and Shino to help Kiba as much as they possibly could.

She had tried to share **_kibalicious _**with her father earlier that morning, but suffice it to say, Hiashi became increasingly annoyed by the amount of time it took for his daughter to speak a sentence and decided it would be better for him to have breakfast with the Branch House members instead.

Ridding herself of the depressing thoughts concerning her previous failure, she took a few steps forward and whispered, "H-Hi, N-Naruto-kun..."

No response. Hinata's cheeks reddened. Of course he couldn't hear her- she was standing in the middle of the street!!

She took another couple of steps towards her blond idol, placing herself just past the decorative blue curtains of the ramen stand. "_Hello_, N-Naruto-kun..."

Again, silence.

The heiress scolded herself for being so chicken and walked right up to the cheerful blond, and by then her heart felt ready to leap out of her chest. "U-Um... Naru-"

Konoha's #1 Hyperactive Ninja turned around before she could finish her greeting. "Hey, Hinata-chan! Are you here to eat something, too?"

Naruto watched in amazement as Hinata turned various shades of red.

_'Naruto-kun's talking to me! And I can smell his breath!! Feeling lightheaded... Breathe, Hinata! Breathe!'_

"Are you okay, Hinata-chan?" he asked, placing the palm of his hand against her forehead. _'She's really weird,'_ he thought, watching the funny way her body was now beginning to sway back and forth.

_'He touched me!' _

"Y-You're... you're _**kibalicious**_, Naruto-kun," she sighed, before ungracefully falling face-first onto the dusty floor.

Naruto scratched his head. _'Why does she always do that around me?'_

He dragged Hinata onto an empty bench just outside the restaurant, made sure she looked comfortable, and went back to his food. He had a look of confusion written all over his broth-spattered features.

_'**Kibalicious**? Why would I want to be **kibalicious**, 'tebayo? I want to be Hokage!!!'_ He continued to slurp away at his noodles wondering what the silly word meant while reminding himself to take Hinata back to her place after he was done with his meal.

However, with being so obsessed with ramen, training, beating Sasuke-teme, becoming the greatest Hokage that ever lived, and now the mysterious word _**kibalicious**_, Naruto forgot all about our favorite pale-eyed kunoichi as he ran over to meet Team 7, leaving poor Hinata out on the street.

* * *

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, Shino let out a disinterested grunt once he arrived in Suna. The dry climate was stifling beneath his rather warm trench coat, but at least it gave his skin some relief from the sun's harmful UV rays. 

He reached into his pocket for Tsunade's instructions. According to the note, he was to wait in front of Yasutori's Mercantile for either Kankurou or Temari, and then be escorted to Gaara's office to receive the important parcel.

He found the location and looked at his clock, and realizing he was a few minutes ahead of schedule, he decided to have a snack. Reaching into his other pocket- he took out a small pouch Hinata had given him, filled with a rather generous supply of dried meat, fruits, various nuts, and a little jar labeled "Sun block".

While chewing on a dried fig, he saw a neatly-written letter enclosed within the canvas sack which read:

**_Dear Shino-kun,_**

**_Please be careful on your mission. Be sure to stay hydrated, and rub sun block onto your skin accordingly. I hope you enjoy the assortment of snacks. I hope to see you soon! _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Hinata_**

**_P.S., Tell Pablo to stay safe as well!_**

A corner of Shino's mouth twitched upward. (He was smiling. Sort of.) Pablo was Hinata's favorite kikkaichu. He continued to read on, unraveling more of Hinata's message.

**_P.P.S., Kiba wishes to send you a message as well._**

"..." The 'smile' Shino previously had on his face deepened into an angry grimace.

**_OI, BUG-BOY! _**

(Jeebus, even his WRITING was loud!)

**_TEL THE PEAPUL OF SOONA ABOWT KIBALISHUS, TO!_**

**_Kiba and Akamaru_**

**_P.P.P.S., HAHAHA!! It sez peepeepee-ASS!!! Get it?!!_**

"Of all the idiotic..."

Shino balked. Stupid Kiba! Maybe if Dog Breath hadn't cut classes so damn frequently, he could've learned a thing about spelling... _'Don't forget to tell the people of Suna about **Kibalicious**… Why on EARTH would I want to help **KIBA**?!'_

The mere mention of Kiba's retarded phrase brought forth the incessantly annoying lyrics of that song into his head, and along with it a migraine larger than the Hokage Monument. _**'Kibalicious, so hot, hot**...' _

The bugs in Shino's body felt their master's distress (though truth be told, they kinda liked the catchy tune).

An annoying tick developed in Shino's mouth as he thwacked the sides of his head. _'SHUT UP! SHUT UP! **SHUT UP!**' _he screamed at himself, throttling around the poor kikkaichu in the process. And if _that _wasn't enough, Shino tore off Kiba's portion of the letter with his teeth and promptly began to chew it into a pulpy mash, disregarding any concerns about doggy germs and whatnot.

Kankurou had appeared before the bug nin moments ago, carefully observing the ways of this strange Konoha shinobi who was slapping himself silly. _'What the hell is this guy's problem? People __from Konoha are psycho,'_ he thought, adjusting his beloved puppet Karasu on his shoulders and smoothing the wrinkles out of his black jumper that, oddly enough, resembled an adult-sized pair of hooded footie pajamas. _'And really weird,' _he concluded, checking himself out in a compact mirror for purple eyeliner smudges before drawing Shino's attention.

"Ahem- Konoha shinobi Aburame Shino- follow me," he said, allowing Shino to collect his wits as best as he could before he was led through the arid streets of Suna's market area.

Shino was finding it a bit difficult to concentrate as he followed behind the Puppet Master, for Kiba's asinine message had somehow managed to once again fandango its way into his ears. _'Don't forget to tell the people of Suna about **Kibalicious**. Don't forget to tell the people of Suna about **Kibalicious**... Don't-' _

"Hey, Aburame. Watch your-"

So difficult, in fact, that Shino disregarded Kanky's warning and launched his foot into a rather large pile of cow dung.

"-step." Kankurou's nose wrinkled in disgust. Now that he remembered, SHINO had been the person he forfeited his match to in the Chuunin Exams!! "What kind of ninja are you?!! You just marched into some cow shit!!!"

Shino looked down, and sure enough, a fresh, thick, wet glob of stinky, nutty, squishy, rust-colored #2 had affixed itself onto his zora sandal and the space between his toes. Despite the situation, he smiled, though Kankurou (and the entire world) couldn't see.

"Yes, I stepped in fecal matter," Shino said calmly, pouring his canteen of water over his foot. "How very- _**kibalicious** _of me."

"Huh? _**Kibalicious**_? What's that?"

"Ah. In Konoha, whenever something is _**kibalicious**, _it means it's rude, _incredibly_ stupid, or _UN_cool," Shino said, saying EXACTLY what he thought of his teammate. "It's the newest hype-word. I'm surprised you don't know about it."

Kankurou scoffed. How DARE this guy challenge his trendiness! "Well... of course I knew what you meant! I... was just testing you! _Everybody _in Suna knows about _**kibalicious**_!"

At first Kanky doubted the strange Bug Nin who didn't strike him as a pop-culture expert; however, Kanky decided that _**kibalicious**_ did sound pretty hip and it would make him look good in front of the ladies at the brothel he often frequented.

They walked past the large doors leading into the Kazekage's office. Gaara didn't even bother looking up to acknowledge the visitor, as he merely pointed toward the obscure box in the corner of the room. The meeting (if you could call it that) with the Kazekage was quick and to the point, as the former Shukaku vessel was a busy man with more important responsibilities to oversee.

"Dude, bro. Stop being so _**kibalicious** _and try being a little friendly for once!" He gave Shino a smirk, acknowledging that he knew how to use it correctly.

The fiery redhead was able to pick up the not-so-genteel manner in which Kankurou spoke the foreign word, and poor Kanky was forcibly launched out the window by a large fist made of sand.

"_**Kibalicious**_ fucktard," the Kazekage muttered under his breath. But not wanting to seem rude (and somehow indirectly offend his pal Naruto for being mean to his friends), he did tell Shino (in a very clipped tone) to have a nice day.

Shino took the box (which contained a rather large case full of imported dry sake, though he didn't know that), bowed before Gaara, and silently thanked Kankurou for being so gullible. He headed towards the road that led to Konoha, knowing the Sand shinobi were unwittingly helping him in his quest to take Kiba down a few notches.

* * *

_And so the trouble begins..._

_Comments are appreciated, reviews are love._


	4. Kiba's Mandatory Parole?

_I had been considering dumping this fic and leaving the Naruto fandom for good, but then Shippūden came out and my faith was restored once again... Sorry for the late-ish update. Chapter 4 should be underway in another week or so (crosses fingers)._

_Much thanks to my lovely readers, and to the following people for submitting reviews: Elsie-neechan, shoeythoughts, NarutosMego, WhiteWolf222, Lonniet84, Ladii-Chocolate, violet-fox224, mekhi, LilJester, Kitty Harasser, RainAngelSong, danielle, TheNewKid25, BlackMageRose13, SnowLion no Miko, 9-DArk-Moon-4. Kruong, HIANA, lallyzippo, ravemastaj, CheerfullyPessimistic, shadow929, Andrew Joshua Talon, Hikari Midori-chan, Miss0made, Milk Marshmallow, sky.blue.x, Kage Youkai, Kopanda Chan, AbsoluteRandomness, Crain, Allie, ContradictoryOrien, and Temthasy. Y'all rock my world!!_

* * *

A house full of barking dogs was seldom quiet, but even so, the Inuzukas' ears could still pick up the faintest whispers amidst the noise. 

Today, however, Tsume and Hana wished they hadn't been blessed with such sharp hearing. Their neighbors, though their listening devices were nowhere near as keen, wished the very same thing. Something as overpowering and boisterous as Kiba's voice could make even _deaf_ ears bleed.

The problem was with his continuous singing, something that the Inuzuka Clan had endured ever since he was dragged home yesterday afternoon. The only time he had been _remotely _silent was when he ate or slept, but even _then _he compensated for his inability to speak by humming out tunes. Tsume, at her wit's end, was willing to end her son's punishment in favor of peace and quiet at the homestead, though she knew Kiba would only stir up more trouble in town once he was liberated.

What was a frazzled mother to do?

"**I don't think you're ready for this, jelly, I don't think you're ready for this, jelly... I don't think you're ready for this... My sandwich too _kibalicious _for you babe...**" Kiba sang to the unopened jar of strawberry preserves.

Apparently, the youngest Inuzuka didn't like J on his PB sandwiches. Didn't particularly like the taste and texture of mashed fruit.

The straight handle of the cast iron skillet that Tsume had been holding onto earlier now had now been bent into a 'U' shape. It was _**kibalicious** _this, _**kibalicious** _that... Enough was ENOUGH!! Tsume started screaming at the top of her lungs and beating against the pots and pans in the kitchen to drown out the sound of her own son's voice.

"Mom?" he questioned, after helping himself to a rather large bite of his lunch.

"Kiba. Go. You- Get out NOW," the Clan leader barked as she bodily picked up her son and threw him out the door, Akamaru following soon thereafter. Dusting off her hands and placing them on her hips, she continued her short tirade. "No more public nudity, you got that? If I hear that you've done it one more time..."

Too little too late. Kiba and Akamaru were already out of earshot, happy for their newfound freedom.

Tsume breathed out a shaky breath and slumped into her seat, fatigued by Kiba's early morning antics.

"What are we going to do with the brat, Mom?" Hana inquired, as she attempted to rub the knots out of her mother's tense shoulders.

Tapping her chin in thought, the Inuzuka matriarch tried to think of ways to keep her son out of their hair for just a bit longer.

As it turned out, Maito Gai owed her a favor, one she was ready to cash out on.

"Get me the phone, Hana. Tonight, we're going to be Kiba-free!!!" Grinning toothily, she pressed the 'talk' button, listened for a dial tone, pressed seven numbers, and waited.

Riiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing. Riiii-_click._

_**"OHHHH!!! I am ashamed to have not answered your call at the first ring! For that, I shall run to the telephone company and back five hundred times, and seek penance!"** _Gai had been in the shower when the phone rang, and he sprinted across his house (in the buff) in order to get to the phone. He hadn't received a call in _weeks _and to say he was excited was an understatement.

Sadly, the Jounin instructor was unaware of the open window he was standing in front of, or the slew of traveling villagers whose eyes were glued to the water droplets running down his rather endowed... gift.

Gai blinked. There was silence on the other end and he began to cry desperate anime tears as he choked the receiver. _**"Hello? Hello? I did it again! Why do people always hang up when I answer?"**_

Tsume had removed her ear away from the phone while gesturing to Hana about how yappy Gai was.

_**"Hello? Hello? Are you still there, mysterious youth?"**_

Tsume rolled her eyes. She hated the theatrics of Konoha's Noble Green Beast, but she'd play nice. "Gai? It's Tsume." Not one to beat around the bush (or let Gai continue to talk, for that matter), Tsume quickly got down to business.

"Can Kiba stay over at your place tonight?"

* * *

_I may regret having Kiba sleeping over at Gai's... but I'll sort that out later. For now I keep envisioning yelling matches..._

_And what the frick? Is it Maito Gai, or Might Guy? I have to say that I detest the latter... something about it SCREAMS **engrish**._

_Also, after the last chapter, I noticed that Kiba was rarely mentioned, and hell- the story's called "Kibalicious", for goodness sake. Minor oversight. Sometimes I wonder if I'm subconsciously trying to rub him out of my fic, since I have a tendency of making him look bad in many of the things I write... Weirdness. I love the guy, but Hinata and Shino I love even more._

_Anyways, thanks for putting up with me and my insignificant rants. Reviews and comments are love!!_


	5. Return of the AntiKiba

_Um... sorry for the delay in updating- gadzooks, I didn't think it would take so long to write this chapter. I love you guys for putting up with me and my schedule, and I must extend my gratitude to the following people: Lonniet84, NarutosMego, violet.fox224, SnowLion no Miko, RainAngelSong, animecupidgirl, TheNewKid25, lallyzippo, Kroung, Elsie-neechan, shoeythoughts, Milk Marshmallow, Kitty Harasser, Air Sniper, Hikari Midori-chan, NinaWilliamsSilentAssassin, CheerfullyPessimistic, 9-DArK-Moon-4, IAmCompletelyWicked, Andrew Joshua Talon, ravemastaj, Allie, shikaruTo, BlackMageRose13, AkatsukiAddict, Creative Tendencies, SharadaGirl, Kickass Kunoichi, D akatsuki admirer, and Temthasy_ _- _

_Thank you all for your support!!_

_Also, if you haven't seen Bjorkubus' 'kibalicious' drawing on DeviantArt, I think you should check it out!! Too cute!!!_

* * *

_Hyuuga household, 5:06 pm..._

It was a little known secret within the compound that Hyuuga Hiashi liked to watch "Ellen" before dinnertime. Believe it or not, Hiashi had a sense of _humor, _one he didn't want the rest of Konoha to know about.

_"Today's celebrity guests are: Zach Braff and Donald Faison from the hit TV show, "Scrubs"! The smooth sounds of musical guest, Yanni! Male model, Derek Zoolander! And more fun with wacky Iron Chef Masahito Morimoto! And now, everyone's favorite lesbian real estate mogul, El-"_

_-click-_

"Why am I watching a RERUN?!!" ranted a none-too-happy Hyuuga Hiashi as he threw the remote control through a shoji door.

"O-Our apologies, Hiashi-sama," stammered the nervous attendant, gingerly rubbing the new bump on her forehead, "but the young mistress wasn't seen since she left early this morning..."

There was something akin to worry when Hiashi spoke. "Find my daughter. NOW."

* * *

_Ichiraku Ramen Stand, 3:20 pm..._

Elsewhere, on his way to the training grounds, Sasuke had noticed a large crowd gathered around the Ichiraku. Relieved for the distraction that was drawn away from himself, as he hated being the center of attention, he continued to walk on undisturbed.

However, he came to a full stop when some of the murmured whispers wafted past his ears.

"How misfortunate, left all alone to fend for herself..."

_'Che, I know what that's like, but I didn't want anybody's damn pity,' _Sasuke groused inwardly.

"You know, it's no secret that Hiashi was extremely disappointed in that little girl... Remember that time he sent her away to live with Yuuhi Kurenai?"

"Tsk, tsk. What a cold, arrogant man. Awful. Poor Hinata..."

_'Hinata? Kicked out of her house? Disowned?!!' _The Uchiha shook his head in disbelief as his heart began to beat erratically.

_Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp._

Forget practice, _this _was a matter worth investigating!

As the group finally disbanded minutes later, sure enough, a slightly dirtied and disheveled Hinata (who had fallen onto the dirt floor in the previous chapter, no thanks to her woebegotten crush on Naruto) lay across a bench slumbering peacefully. To her side, he saw several tin cans and buckets filled to the brim with generous cash donations from the villagers for the mistakably homeless kunoichi.

His eyes widened a fraction. So it _was _true! Hinata _was_ kicked out of her former home, forced to live her life as a street urchin! Sure, he found it strange that he hadn't seen her at the Hyuuga Compound for the past few days (he was unaware that she and her team had been on a mission outside the village, and yes, Sasuke was secretly in love)... She must've been crawling out of her alleyway residence before he had a chance to find her, and she was far too ashamed to ask her teammates and sensei for help...

_Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp. _

Sasuke shook his head. No. She couldn't continue on like this! She could DIE!! How could he possibly go on, knowing the only girl that DIDN'T nauseate him with her presence would no longer be walking amongst the living?!!

He took a deep breath and boldly made his way towards the sleeping beauty.

"Hinata," he spoke, tugging on her jacket sleeve. "You need to wake up."

"Nnnghhh..." the heiress pouted softly. "Nii-san didn't eat his beets, I don't want to, either.."

Sasuke blush came to his ears. '_Too cute,' _he thought. "Wake up. It's me, Sasuke."

One pale lavender orb opened curiously, followed by its twin. "U-Uchiha-san?"

He frowned at the way she said his name. It was _much _too formal. "Hai. Are you... are you alright?"

Startled by the concern in his voice (to her recollection, Sasuke had _never _spoken to her in the past, so she had no reason to believe he'd even_ care_), she launched herself into an upright position, taking a look at her surroundings.

"W-What am I doing here?" she asked, paling significantly.

"You don't remember?"

"N-No! W-Why was I sleeping on this bench, and not in my b-bed?"

Sasuke resisted the urge to blush when Hinata said the word, 'bed'. Instead, he grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Hinata. Your father has disowned you. You've been living on the streets, maybe for the last week or so. Does any of this ring a bell?"

Hinata frantically nodded her head from side to side. Homeless? For an entire week?!! She could've sworn she came back from her team mission _yesterday.. _Now... now she wasn't so confident about her memory! Therefore, Hinata did what _anyone _would do in her situation- she began to _cry._

The Uchiha held the sobbing girl to his chest, combing his fingers through her hair. It was something his own mother used to do for him, whenever he woke from terrible nightmares. "Shhh, it'll be alright. You... you can live with me. I'll take care of you," he spoke, his cheeks darkening as he spoke honestly and earnestly about his feelings. "I'll be the only family you'll ever need." _Ba-dmp, ba-dmp, ba-dmp, ba-dmp_... His heart was beating rapidly.

Her watery gaze met his. "R-Really?"

He unwrapped his arms from her form and rose from his seat, holding out his hand. Hinata regarded it for a moment as he waited with baited breath. _Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp. Ba-dmp._

As if it were her only lifeline, she held onto it dearly with both hands, eyes sparkling with hope. "Will you really take me home, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hai, Hinata-chan," he smiled softly, as he led her away. "Let's go home."

Sasuke hadn't been this happy in a very, very long time.

* * *

_Kiba's house, 5:47pm..._

"Shhh!!! He's about half a mile away!!! Everybody, stay quiet, and **don't** make a sound!!!" Tsume ordered. "HANA!!! Turn out the lights!!! I'll Febreze the house!!!"

After hours of roughhousing with Akamaru in the forest, the doggy duo returned home in time for dinner, though they weren't _that _hungry. Just a while ago, they came upon a large sum of money that was lying in front of Ichiraku's and bought copious amounts of teriyaki-flavored beef jerky and dried pig ears. Yum.

However, coming up towards the path that led to his home, Kiba found it odd that the lights weren't on and that he couldn't smell his family around. To make matters worse, the door was locked, and he didn't have a key.

The pup tore at a piece of paper pinned atop the duffel bag lying on their porch. Kiba grabbed the note from Akamaru's mouth, squinted for a bit, and huffed in aggravation.

"Damn it, can you tell me what it says, Akamaru?" Sadly, along with spelling, literacy wasn't one of Kiba's strongest suits, either.

His faithful companion explained that because his family was going to be out of town, they would have to stay over at his mother's friend's place until they came back.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kiba took his bag, stared at the map on the paper, and walked past the gates of his home, trying to suppress the un-**_kibalicious_** feelings that were bubbling in his gut.

"Well, c'mon, boy," Kiba said warily, walking towards the gate. "Maybe if we hurry up a bit, we can get to this place in time for dessert."

Akamaru whimpered, sensing his master's distressed aura, gave a weak look back at their home, and padded off after him.

* * *

_Gai's house, 6:08 pm_

The overly enthusiastic Green Beast of Konoha was adding finishing touches to what would hopefully be the greatest sleepover of all time. Tonight, he and Kiba would play Jenga, eat lots and lots of fresh fruits and veggies, watch Disney movies, and have special guy talks late into the night. He couldn't wait!

At long last, there was a bold knock on the door. Gai, smiling through tears, opened the door, finally allowing the two standing behind it to see where they'd be staying for the night.

Kiba and Akamaru shared matching pained expressions. How could any of this be happening to them?!!

"COME INSIDE, SPECIAL GUESTS!!!" bellowed the Jounin, blinding the two with his overly bleached teeth.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" **

**

* * *

**

_Somewhere Just Outside of Konoha, 6:10 pm_

Shino was almost home, and he had a broad smile on his face, one that was hidden behind the wall of durable fabric surrounding the lower half of his face. Things were going to get a bit more interesting within the next few days, and the very idea of what mayhem would ensue because of that stupid little word sent happy chills up and down his spine.

According to Kankurou, Suna would be having some diplomats over to discuss fair trade between other nations. Shino knew that the puppeteer would use any opportunity present to use his new special word. _**Kibalicious** _would then spread like wildfire and travel to other locations. In essence, life was almost perfect.

Chuckling slightly to himself, Shino was glad to be back where it all started. The beautiful impending disaster would be well worth the wait.

_

* * *

_

_Um, I'll end it here because that's all I have. XD _

_Review, onegaishimasu!!_


End file.
